August 8, 2006

you're gay?

So Lance Bass comes out and the world responds with a resounding duh! So ... how did everyone know, but me?

I admit to being the person that never knows when someone is gay. I give no thought to a celebrity's sexual preference since the chances of our hooking up are slim to none; why even go there (although two quasi-celebrities have hit on me - you know how Kathy Griffin is D-List - think T-List).

A former friend lived in LA for six months and claims to have shacked up with a D-Life celebrity for six months. Once again, I was clueless. Although the record setting "quickest divorce ever" now makes sense (I'm craving a certain snacky chip right now).

The MySpace phenomena hits work and all of a sudden most of the cool kids and the not so cool kids have Spaces. Here's when I get all curmudgeonly and say "I don't get it." One of the kids at work, who I thought was rather creative, asked me to check out HisSpace. I did and it was quite unimaginative. He had links to other co-workers at the bottom so I checked out TheirSpaces.

Hmmm ... One guy had a lot of "person" references. We all know what that's code for. That week, this kid's vague references was the hot topic at the water cooler. I heard that any sexual references were eliminated from HisSpace by the end of the week. We worked together for over a year and I had no inkling that the "person" he desired possessed a dick. You think you know a guy.

So, I guess I'm one of those people that assumes you're straight until you tell me (or show me) otherwise. It's not that I have a malfunctioning gay-dar. I do a fairly good job of cruising on the streets and in the Metro. I guess that I just don't care what celebrities who I have no chance of messing around with and people (celebrities are not people) I have no interest in messing around with are doing inbetween the sheets. If I'm not gonna sleep with you, I guess I don't care.

No comments: