reality geek checking in ...

tA few posts ago, I lamented about the end of the spring television season and resigned myself to watching home and garden shows on HGTV, Discovery and TLC. I’m happy to say that I was wrong. Network programmers came through with some interesting summer programming. They finally figured out that they don’t have to have a hit show with a long life. Viewers will tune in and watch a marginally entertaining show for a few months or until our attention deficient minds turn to something else.

So here’s what has caught my attention so far ...

Fire Me ... Please on CBS – I love this show! Contestants start new jobs and are tasked with being fired by three pm. The contestant who gets fired closest to 3 pm wins $25,000. When she wasn’t rearranging displays or manhandling merchandise, my favorite contestant spent her day whistling and clicking her heels while speed walking in figure eights around the store. She wouldn’t have lasted till noon if I worked there.

Hottie Factor - 0 - The host is dumpy and the cast is revolving.

Hell’s Kitchen on FOX - I’m still debating whether I will watch this show for the rest of the season. Since leaving McBooks, my Honey suggested a few times that I switch over to restaurant management. This show pretty much illustrates my every fear about working in a restaurant. They are: crazy owner, bitter staff, bitchy customers, and the everyday possibility of killing a customer with a bad dish. The good points are: __________, when I think of some, I will update this post.

“Give me your jacket and get the hell out of my kitchen,” are Chef Gordon’s parting words to the eliminated cook. He fulfilled many of my secret fantasies when he told the customer who pointed out how long she has been waiting for her meal - "Well, you're a clever girl aren't you? ... Now why don't you fuck off!" and when he told the young LA buck who pointed out the caliber of the staff - "Right. Finally your heads coming out of your asshole... now sit down you fucking shit!"

Hottie Factor – 2 – Hottest person on the show is cast member Scott Liebfried and a far second is the ink-covered contestant Michael.

The Cut on CBS – Since I thought it was going to be a Project Runway rip off, I didn’t think much of this show, but I really enjoyed the first show and look forward to seeing the balance of episodes. Every week will have a different design challenge not limited to fashion. Hilfiger was pleasant in his role of host, sincere yet stern.

Hottie Factor – 3 – Tommy is hard on the eyes but two contestants do it for me, Chris and Wes.

Strip Search on VH1 – Billy Cross from Thunder Down Under has brought together fifteen average (and average is the best adjective) guys to vie for seven spots in a Las Vegas Chippendales-like review. I always thought it was bullshit when a straight would say he didn’t know if another guy was hot or sexy, but now I believe it. Some are not so good looking, some are not so fit, and some are not so coordinated. They dance, they eat, they workout, they drink, and they bond. They better start crying and pouring itching powder in each other’s jockstraps if it’s going to sustain my attention.

Hottie Factor – 5 – Only a few have the whole package. David is a DILF, Ryan fulfills frat fantasies, Sean is abtacular, and my favorite, Bryce, has to lay off the HoHos if he wants to stick around.

Kept on VH1 – Jerry Hall brings 12 American guys

together in London to compete for the privilege of picking up her panties or something like that. Challenges include buying her a special gift at Harrods with only 20 pounds, strutting their stuff in a runway show, and my favorite task so far, painting each other in naked poses. Jerry’s very likable but her pretty face is locked in one expression (why am I thinking of the Joker?).

“You can’t always get what you want.” I like the cruel elimination: two huge doormen set up stanchions in front of a door and call the men in one by one until there just one guy left, then they pick up the stanchions, go inside, and leave the poor schmuck sitting outside.

Hottie Factor – 8 – All types to choose from but my favorite boys are Anwar, who during the runway challenge said, “If I have to wear a skirt, I’m gonna work it,”Jason, Maurizio, and Devonric.

These shows haven't aired yet but I'm pretty excited to check them out.

30 Days on FX – This airs tomorrow (or today, or yesterday, or previously, depending on when you read it). Morgan Spurlock has produced six mini documentaries in which he challenges participants to experience a different lifestyle for 30 days. A Christian moves in with a Muslim family, a straight boy moves in with a gay man in San Francisco, an out of shape man learns to work out and eat well, and even Morgan and his wife decide to give up their NYCity lifestyle for minimum wage living. Hope it’s as good as it sounds.

Rock Star: INXS on CBS – I’ll watch for Dave Navarro and Brooke Burke who are both pretty hot.

Some other shows I’ll check out when they air include: The Biggest Loser, Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List, Meet Mister Mom, Battle of the Network Reality Stars, The Scholar, Celebrity Poker Showdown, So You Think You Can Dance,

I do have some standards, low as they may be, but I won’t be seeing of these shows: Big Brother 6, Average Joe 4, I Want To Be A Hilton, Tommy Lee Goes to College, Being Bobby Brown, The Real Gilligan’s Island, Britney & Kevin: Chaotic, Dancing with the Stars, Supernanny, Queer Eye, Blow Out, Wife Swap, The Law Firm, Sports Kids Moms & Dads, The Princes of Malibu, Trading Spouses: Meet Your New Mommy, Welcome to the Neighborhood, Hit Me Baby One More Time, Situation: Comedy, Hidden Howie: The Private Life of a Public Nuisance, Brat Camp, Beauty & the Geek, and R U The Girl with T-Boz & Chilli.