americans, get ready to rumble!

This summer, you get to decide who is the
“Greatest American.”

Discovery (the channel, not the credit card) and America Online asked you, fellow Americans, to name three great Americans and you responded in vast numbers and produced a respectable and impressive (guffaw) list of great Americans.

Discovery and America Online have narrowed the field down to the top 100 “Greatest Americans.”

No one knows who will be the “Greatest American,” but some of the notable nominees are:

Frederick Douglas, abolitionist and journalist, who worked with the Underground Railroad to free slaves,

The Wright Brothers who owned a cycle shop but, thankfully, had loftier ideas and took to the sky in the first airplane,

Susan B Anthony a leading activist in the women’s suffragette movement whose contributions were honored by having her image placed on the dollar coin,

Tom Cruise who danced his way into everyone’s heart in Wayfarers, tube socks, and tighty-whities,

Portly pill popping political pundit Rush Limbaugh, a political pundit who pops pill and is a bit portly,

Dr Phil, who wants you to get real.

Death matches have not been announced yet so I humbly offer the following match-ups:

Ronald Reagan vs. Arnold Schwarzenegger
... California’s Greatest Governator bragging rights

Ellen DeGeneres vs. Eleanor Roosevelt
... lesbian on lesbian action

Thomas Jefferson vs. Frederick Douglas
... slave owner vs. abolitionist

Muhammad Ali vs. Charles Lindberg
... fight or flight

Bill Gates vs. Steve Jobs
... the loser is assimilated

Hugh Hefner vs. Joseph Smith
... women lovers (and exploiters)

Donald Trump vs. Martha Stewart
... Bill Rancic takes on Stewart’s first season winner

Tag Team Match!
George H & Barbara Bush vs. George W & Laura Bush
... the elected vs. the appointed

Franklin Roosevelt vs. Christopher Reeves
... cripple fight!

Ray Charles vs. Helen Keller
... settle down folks, this is going to be a long match

So who is your "Greatest American?" Founding father George Washington? Cone-bra wearing Madonna? Emancipater Abraham Lincoln? High quarterback Brett Farve? Conductor Harriet Tubman? Helper monkey Condoleezza Rice?

How is it that Howdy Doody didn't make the list?