bookstore tales
The entire staff gathered on Sunday night for a holiday kickoff meeting. These meetings can be a lot of fun because every employee is in the store at the same time and there aren't any customers around, so we can talk freely without fear of offending anyone.
Our meeting started 15 minutes late so I rushed through my first presentation so others could have enough time to make their presentations. I stepped off to the side and surveyed my associates. Some hotties, some quirkies, some hilarious, and Todd, the store freak. Todd was chilling on a aisle seat in the back row. As usual, his yellow polo was riding up on his huge belly. It wasn't a pretty sight (I was told that he recently began wearing t-shirts and that the staff was pleased they no longer had to see his huge hairy belly). Then something caught my eye.
One of his testicles was hanging out of pants. I'm laughing as I'm writing this. The seam at his crotch on the pants that he wore EVERY day to work had finally given way. And his hairless testicle was dangling down.
I excused myself from the meeting and as I walked toward the back of the store I asked Todd to join to me. "What's up Diego?" "Dude, you have a hole in your pants and I can see your kibble and bits."
He was red faced as he walked away toward the restroom. When he came back he stood up for the balance of the meeting.
On Monday, Todd showed up wearing a brand new pair of brown corduroys. Whew ... no testicle in sight.
He wore them again today and I resigned myself to the fact that I would be seeing those pants a lot this winter.Then I saw it as he walked away from me ... NOOooooooooo.
"Todd, can I speak to you for a moment?" "What's up Diego?" "Please go to the restroom and check the seat of your pants." "Don't tell me there's another hole." "No, no hole, there's dried poop on the outside of your pants." I didn't bother sticking around to see the color of his face.
As he was leaving the store, I pulled him aside and told him that I was very concerned about him (this is the part about my job that I hate, but is, oh, so necessary). "I'm a model employee. There's nothing wrong with my performance." "True, but this week I've already seen your testicle and dried poop on your ass and it's only Tuesday. I can't say that for any other employee I have ever worked with. Please be a bit more attentive to your presentation at work."
Jeez!
Our meeting started 15 minutes late so I rushed through my first presentation so others could have enough time to make their presentations. I stepped off to the side and surveyed my associates. Some hotties, some quirkies, some hilarious, and Todd, the store freak. Todd was chilling on a aisle seat in the back row. As usual, his yellow polo was riding up on his huge belly. It wasn't a pretty sight (I was told that he recently began wearing t-shirts and that the staff was pleased they no longer had to see his huge hairy belly). Then something caught my eye.
One of his testicles was hanging out of pants. I'm laughing as I'm writing this. The seam at his crotch on the pants that he wore EVERY day to work had finally given way. And his hairless testicle was dangling down.
I excused myself from the meeting and as I walked toward the back of the store I asked Todd to join to me. "What's up Diego?" "Dude, you have a hole in your pants and I can see your kibble and bits."
He was red faced as he walked away toward the restroom. When he came back he stood up for the balance of the meeting.
On Monday, Todd showed up wearing a brand new pair of brown corduroys. Whew ... no testicle in sight.
He wore them again today and I resigned myself to the fact that I would be seeing those pants a lot this winter.Then I saw it as he walked away from me ... NOOooooooooo.
"Todd, can I speak to you for a moment?" "What's up Diego?" "Please go to the restroom and check the seat of your pants." "Don't tell me there's another hole." "No, no hole, there's dried poop on the outside of your pants." I didn't bother sticking around to see the color of his face.
As he was leaving the store, I pulled him aside and told him that I was very concerned about him (this is the part about my job that I hate, but is, oh, so necessary). "I'm a model employee. There's nothing wrong with my performance." "True, but this week I've already seen your testicle and dried poop on your ass and it's only Tuesday. I can't say that for any other employee I have ever worked with. Please be a bit more attentive to your presentation at work."
Jeez!
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