houseboy for rent (okay more like housedaddy)
So after a self imposed nine-month sabbatical, the time has come when I have to go back to work. I’ve enjoyed the time that I’ve had off, but my financial cushion is gone and it needs replenishment.
The last time I looked for a job was well over 16 years ago and, my, how the rules have changed. Looking for a job then wasn’t easy but in comparison to what you have to go through now, it was like a walk in the park. I remember buying the Sunday paper on Saturday evening and poring through the classifieds as quickly as possible before dashing out to the nearest copy center so I could be one of the first to “fax” my resume in (at the time, cutting edge technology). When there was no fax number, I would travel to the post office for the zip code listed and post my resume from there, so it would get there the next day. A couple of days later, I was able to pick up a phone and actually call a living, breathing human being who, by then, hopefully had my resume sitting in front of them.
These days, you can forget poring through the newspapers as the classifieds listed there were posted on the paper’s website many hours ago. Ads used to have a company name, a contact person, an address, a phone number, and a fax number. Now all you get is a directive to send your resume via email to maybewellreviewyourresume@soandsoco.com. No names or phone numbers to assist you in making a follow up call.
The only place to find a comprehensive listing of jobs in your area is to go to one of the various job-listing websites like Monster, Hot Jobs, and Career Builder. All you have to do is post your resume and the employers will find you. The only employers who have found me so far are insurance companies, car dealerships, and several anonymous Fortune 500 companies with fantastic track records, reputations, and compensation packages (but no names). Reeks of Amway.
Unfortunately, this is the most effective way of finding a position. I’m surprised you don’t hear any stories about identity theft resulting from these postings.
I’ve done a few interviews in the past two weeks and as refreshing as it is to do an interview wearing only black underwear, I can’t wait for when I actually get to wear one of my suits for an interview. It’s all about the telephone prescreening interview. You spend an hour to an hour and a half talking to someone whose job is to weed out the weird, the unqualified, and the weird. This person decides whether you get to repeat all the information you just gave him to another tier of management (if you're lucky just one more tier, but outlook not so good, plan on repeating that info many times).
Everyone must have the same interviewing handbook because the questions are all in the same format. “Tell me about a time wh__ ... and what did you do and what were the results?”
I got it down. Situation/Task – Actions – Results. All my answers are in this format to make it easier for them to fill their columns and compare STARS with the next person I have to interview with.
“And do you have any questions for me?”
Just one: The ideal position for me would involve me working from home, searching the net (I’ve gotten pretty good at doing it with just one hand on the keyboard), talking on the phone in my underwear, and asking routine questions while filling out forms.
“How can one get your job?”
The last time I looked for a job was well over 16 years ago and, my, how the rules have changed. Looking for a job then wasn’t easy but in comparison to what you have to go through now, it was like a walk in the park. I remember buying the Sunday paper on Saturday evening and poring through the classifieds as quickly as possible before dashing out to the nearest copy center so I could be one of the first to “fax” my resume in (at the time, cutting edge technology). When there was no fax number, I would travel to the post office for the zip code listed and post my resume from there, so it would get there the next day. A couple of days later, I was able to pick up a phone and actually call a living, breathing human being who, by then, hopefully had my resume sitting in front of them.
These days, you can forget poring through the newspapers as the classifieds listed there were posted on the paper’s website many hours ago. Ads used to have a company name, a contact person, an address, a phone number, and a fax number. Now all you get is a directive to send your resume via email to maybewellreviewyourresume@soandsoco.com. No names or phone numbers to assist you in making a follow up call.
The only place to find a comprehensive listing of jobs in your area is to go to one of the various job-listing websites like Monster, Hot Jobs, and Career Builder. All you have to do is post your resume and the employers will find you. The only employers who have found me so far are insurance companies, car dealerships, and several anonymous Fortune 500 companies with fantastic track records, reputations, and compensation packages (but no names). Reeks of Amway.
Unfortunately, this is the most effective way of finding a position. I’m surprised you don’t hear any stories about identity theft resulting from these postings.
I’ve done a few interviews in the past two weeks and as refreshing as it is to do an interview wearing only black underwear, I can’t wait for when I actually get to wear one of my suits for an interview. It’s all about the telephone prescreening interview. You spend an hour to an hour and a half talking to someone whose job is to weed out the weird, the unqualified, and the weird. This person decides whether you get to repeat all the information you just gave him to another tier of management (if you're lucky just one more tier, but outlook not so good, plan on repeating that info many times).
Everyone must have the same interviewing handbook because the questions are all in the same format. “Tell me about a time wh__ ... and what did you do and what were the results?”
I got it down. Situation/Task – Actions – Results. All my answers are in this format to make it easier for them to fill their columns and compare STARS with the next person I have to interview with.
“And do you have any questions for me?”
Just one: The ideal position for me would involve me working from home, searching the net (I’ve gotten pretty good at doing it with just one hand on the keyboard), talking on the phone in my underwear, and asking routine questions while filling out forms.
“How can one get your job?”
1 comment:
Can I interview you? On the phone of course and in your underwear (or nothing) of course. ;-)
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