tales from McBooks
I’ve been at work for over five hours and I am starving so I head out the front door in search of good eats when the following occurs:
Customer: You’re the store manager, right?
Me: (Pawn him off on the MOD and get your ass to the Grill - the nachos are calling.) Yes, how can I help you?
Customer: I tried to return this book, but the supervisor at the register refused to do the return.
Me: (Damn you Stephen, why didn't you just do the return, now I’m gonna have to override your decision in order to appease this customer and prevent him from writing a letter of complaint.) I’m sure I can help you. Let me have your purchase and receipt?
Customer: I can’t find my receipt ...
Me: (Duh, no wonder he denied the return.)
Customer: ... but I just want to exchange it for another copy. Here’s the book. (pulls it out of one of our bags)
Me: (You're fucking kidding me!) I'm certain we didn't sell you this book in this condition. What happened to it?
Customer: I dropped it in the bath tub.
Me: (This has to be Shawn pranking me.) Sir, I’m sorry but we only accept returns for product that is in sellable condition.
Customer: But the book is defective.
Me: (I gonna kick Shawn's ass.) How is it defective?
Customer: The pages aren’t waterproof.
Customer: You’re the store manager, right?
Me: (Pawn him off on the MOD and get your ass to the Grill - the nachos are calling.) Yes, how can I help you?
Customer: I tried to return this book, but the supervisor at the register refused to do the return.
Me: (Damn you Stephen, why didn't you just do the return, now I’m gonna have to override your decision in order to appease this customer and prevent him from writing a letter of complaint.) I’m sure I can help you. Let me have your purchase and receipt?
Customer: I can’t find my receipt ...
Me: (Duh, no wonder he denied the return.)
Customer: ... but I just want to exchange it for another copy. Here’s the book. (pulls it out of one of our bags)
Me: (You're fucking kidding me!) I'm certain we didn't sell you this book in this condition. What happened to it?
Customer: I dropped it in the bath tub.
Me: (This has to be Shawn pranking me.) Sir, I’m sorry but we only accept returns for product that is in sellable condition.
Me: (I gonna kick Shawn's ass.) How is it defective?
Customer: The pages aren’t waterproof.
Me: (Oh shit, this is so stupid, it has to be real.) I'm sorry - I don’t think that has been perfected yet. (but might I suggest ... the first ever waterproof book for adults, Aqua Erotica, by Mary Anne Mohanraj).
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