disturbing

"Am I awake?"
Every ad in this campaign totally creeps me out. Having your breakfast served in bed is pretty hot, but having it served by an old queen who's clearly had more work done than Joan Rivers ... is definitely not. I would like to think that the Burger King has better things to do than to deliver calorie laden breakfast sandwiches to Americans in their skivvies ... maybe that's why they're number two.

After reading Schlosser's Fast Food Nation and seeing Spurlock's Super Size Me, my visits to fast food establishments have dwindled to less than a handful per year. For the most part, I don't miss the food (it wasn't very good), but I will admit, when I'm hung over, I have major cravings for Sausage McMuffins.

If I could choose a royal to bring me breakfast in bed, I would choose this strapping young lad and he would only wear kitchen mitts while he whips up and serves me the following:

three egg omelet with mushrooms, peppers, and tomatoes; two spicy sausage links; a toasted bagel with a very light schmear of honey flavored cream cheese; a fruit cup of bananas and strawberries; and a big ass glass of freshly squeezed orange juice with lots of pulp.