February 1, 2005

I am a reality TV-holic.

There's a monkey on my back and she's holding a video camera recording the minutiae in my life. With careful editing, I could sell a show to a network featuring all the most exciting moments in my day, we could call it 24 Seconds. I can smell the Emmy from here, smells like chimp poo.

Growing up in the Bronx, Mom always had to see "my shows" (phoenetically - "my chose.") The television was off limits weekdays from eleven until noon for The Price Is Right and Saturday evenings for Sabado Gigante. Now mind you, this was in simpler times when we only had one television in the whole house. But, now that I am an adult, with four sets in this house, I get to watch whatever I want. My Tivo-like machine (which I regret getting - skip Philips and go for the real thing) is always set to record "my shows." Some of my favorites are:

  • Apprentice - You're Fired ... Ha Ha
  • Amazing Race - You're Philiminated ... Doh
  • Survivor - The Tribe has spoken, they don't like you
  • Project Runway - 3 hrs to design a paperclip dress
  • American Idol - Like driving by an car accident
  • Real World - Like driving by a plane crash
  • and any home improvement show on TLC and HGTV - someday, I'll own my own house and get rid of these beige walls forever.

I was a little saddened today when I read that Paige Davis was relieved from her hosting duties on Trading Spaces. Paige was great! Does anyone remember the first host? I didn't think so. Until Paige joined the cast, I had no interest in watching the show. Ann and I would regularly settle in on Saturday nights and watch the decorating divas before heading out for the night.

Last year, I lost interest in the show because I found it dreadfully dull and repetitive. Paint reveals were as exciting as watching paint dry. And then there were the spin offs, Boys vs Girls - same show, younger people and Trading Spaces - Family - same show, more annoying people ... snooze.

This year, I'm watching it again because they changed the format and finally allowed the homeowners to actually "help" design the rooms (even gave them veto power.) So, as much as I enjoyed watching Paige, I think the change will be good for the show. The producers must have gotten their hands on a copy of If It Ain't Broke, Break It and applied the self-help applications outlined in chapter one. Paige will rise again. She's money!

If only someone could get a copy of this book to the producers of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, Straight Girl, and Straight Guy - UK Edition. I enjoyed two, maybe three, episodes of this show before I was flat out bored. Talk about repetitive. Do us and your show's livelihood a favor and start planning format changes to next year's season (the elimination thing works well on other shows, hmmm less gays maybe?) Adding the lipstick lesbian (the butchest element on all three shows) was a good start. Who will out-quip who in this week's episode? Who cares?

Maybe the folks at Best Week Ever on VH1 got it right when they stated that the "End of the Trend" has arrived. I haven't seen Will & Grace since the first season (but I heard Bobby Cannavale, who should have been on the cover of People, is on so I may have to watch those episodes.) Ellen's show is fun but, there's no gay content on it what-so-ever. And ... who's left that's gay on television?

On My Goodness, at some point last year we gays must have reached critical mass and succumbed to boredom. Cool!

Vin and Keanu, who would be an unbeatable couple on The Amazing Race, have new movies coming out this Spring (if only they did.)


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